Helpless

Helpless Helplessness: that dull, sick feeling of not being the one at the reins. When did you last feel like that –- and what did you do about it?

Animal friends

Helpless is when your best mate suddenly comes down sick and you can’t do a damn thing about it.

This is Kirk, my best mate, from when we first met until recently when he became a fan of the new Thunderbirds.Kirk likes Thunderbirds

Kirk and his sister had their annual vet check at the beginning of the month and the only slightly unusual thing was their weights were within a kilogram of each other – normally Lulu is mid-40s and Kirk is around mid-50s – this time they were a tad either side of 50kg.

I didn’t think too much of it at the time but a couple of days later, Kirky went right off his food and would only touch offerings with very string scents. Even when we had fish’n’chips – where normally polite Kirk would barge his way in – he showed little interest in either fish or chips…initially, I thought it might have been a reaction to his vaccinations: he’s always been a bit of a sookie…and after a week or so he seemed to perk up.

Then he slipped right back, showing no interest in food and, without any energy, would just sit, too tired to even come up the stairs or walk to the end of the short driveway…we went into the vet yesterday, Kirk and I. He was very brave and let the vet poke and prod him all over and take samples, although I don’t think he’s very impressed with the haircut they gave him so they could scan his tummy.

The prognosis isn’t too good for Kirk: it’s either the big C; another internal growth or rat poison…my best mate who’s been with me for eight and a half years…not much you can do really…just wait for the test results to come back…can’t even slip him a bit of steak because he won’t even look at it…helpless…

Update. Test results came back this afternoon and Option B is looking good at the moment: some form of internal growth that’s causing the internal bleeding that’s making him so weak and lethargic. The vet thinks he is too weak at the moment for any sort of operation to explore further so it’s a waiting game. They gave him some steroids  – which get ground up and mixed in with a teaspoon of Nutrigel – he’s so good well-mannered that he’ll let me, with only a little resistance, smear it inside his mouth so he can’t reject or eject it.

It’s too easy to take false hope from this but only an hour or so after the first dose of steroids, he wolfed down some wet dog food – still not keen or dry food – and is sitting in front for the tellie watching The Professionals with me. The steroids only conceal the symptoms though but the vet hopes this will let him build up enough strength for an operation to confirm what’s going on inside and determine if it’s operable.

So just a waiting game for now, not really anything extra we can do for my best mate…helpless…

Happiness is…

…a big bone…DSCF8758-001 DSCF8739 DSCF8738 DSCF8737 DSCF8736New World Taumarunui was selling these for a dollar each – great for ‘staff’ morale and they last a lot longer than the average chew.

A couple of nights after they got these, Kirk woke me up around 3AM, whining at the front door. Sometimes he will does this when he thinks there is something outside – usually a deer – or when he needs to ‘go’. It was a clear moonlit night so I followed him outside to see what had piqued his interest.

We went up to the top of the house driveway and then a wee ways down the long driveway that runs further down the hill. About 20 metres along the way, Kirk stopped, and shovelled some leaves out of the way with his head. Satisfied, he turned around and trotted back to the house…no stray trampers…no dodgy deer…just checking that his bone was still where he had hidden it.

 

Islands in the Mist

This was yesterday’s a recent challenge in WordPress’ Writing 101 workshop a month or so ago (how time flies when you have work): “…today is a free writing day. Write at least four-hundred words, and once you start typing, don’t stop. No self-editing, no trash-talking, and no second guessing: just go. Bonus points if you tackle an idea you’ve been playing with but think is too silly to post about…”

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One of the reasons that I like living here so much is that it can feel so isolated from the world and its issues…some times this can be a jungle moon of Endor, or a secluded part of Pandora’s Hallelujah Mountains…DSCF8560

The mist deadens sounds of the world and creates our own little world…free to imagine and wonder…DSCF8561

Last night when I came home, just on sundown it was like this…

DSCF8645OK, so the actual challenge was to write 400 words but doesn’t each picture speak a thousand? And it’s Friday night and we need to get fed before Coro…and I am also looking forward to ending Phase I of my retro TV groove, with the final episode of UFO already lined up in Plex. Phase II arrived in the mail tonight so the Space 1999 marathon will start tomorrow…

I always thought that Space 1999 was so much cornier than UFO which was the first grown-ups programme I was allowed to watch on a regular basis…type faster, type faster…no typos, no typos, I can already hear Jim Hickey making up the weather for tomorrow…looks like rain and lots of it…only 30 minutes now to get dinner ready…no pressure…but type faster, no typos…

Phew! Can smell dog poo on my boots…poo patrol on Monday I guess…so between UFO and Space 1999, maybe I already grew up enough to start to lose my suspension of disbelief…already between ten and twelve…? But I still like the purple wigs and tinfoil body suits – did they scratch? – and, as always with Gerry Anderson, the toys machines rule…UHU02 has made the SHADO Interceptor: is Sky 1 on the cards.. although I still have the Imai one of variable scale in the works…Probably not, I think the next Interceptor he will design will below to the Angels…

And speaking of Angels, PRIME TV, where is our Doctor fix now that the fez-wearing ‘custard and fish fingers’ idiot is gone…? And speaking of idiots, I can hear Seven Sharp prattling now…Dad, Dad, we want dinner…OK, OK, coming, coming…”let’s feed the dogs” (words never spoken out loud in jest) and there we go: 400-ish words and the challenge done…

Writing 101, Day Nineteen: Don’t Stop the Rockin’ | The Daily Post.

Room | The Daily Post

The Daily Post: Room

Like a few other English words, Room means two contradictory things. It can be the four walls that enclose us, giving us shelter and comfort but also limiting our movement. It’s also the limitless space into which we can wander and which we can fill — or try to (think about that expression, “room to grow”).

In this week’s photo challenge, share your take on the idea of room — it could be an actual room in your house, a favorite gallery in your local museum, a cubicle at work. You could also take this challenge in a more abstract direction, and show us where you feel like you have room — or lack it.

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A tidy room…

Room tidy before

…and, hmmmm…

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…and this guy thinks he needs more room…

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…but outside he has all this to play in…

Chilly…

…and I don’t mean the magic spice that overcomes all food preparation shortcomings…

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I was driving back from town yesterday and could not help but notice that both Ngauruhoe and Tongariro had had some decent dumps of snow over the last two days…couldn’t tell you about Ruapehu because that is under that big mass of cloud where the fence line meets the skyline…DSCF8391

Compare Ngauruhoe with the shot I took of it at sunset a couple of posts ago...

The temperature dumped as soon as the sun disappeared…it was a beautifully clear and starry night…so still and so bloody cold…down to 0 at midnight and -2 at first light with a good frost…

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The sun is dealing to the frost already and it will be a ripper day til the sun goes down…I think we will get snow here as soon as we have a cloudy night…it’s been trying the last couple of days…

It’s safe to say that winter is here so if you are visiting up this way, think about putting some warm clothes, maybe even a sleeping back in the car, with some sensible footwear, gloves and a warm hat…just on case…it’s this time of year when drivers are still in summer daze and don’t think of shady corners and the risks therein. No matter how good a driver you may be, it might be the other guy that makes the mistake that gets YOU…take care out there…

Just Another Day | The Daily Post

Just Another Day | The Daily PostOur days our organized around numerous small actions we repeat over and over. What’s your favorite daily ritual?

Every day, twice every day, we have this ritual, initiated by the phrase “…feed the dogs…”. It is such a well-known phrase here than we can only use it when we actually intend doing it, otherwise there is much excitement followed by disappointment. If we want to refer to this activity, we have to say “…Eff the Dees…” and even now, I am not convinced that they do not know that they are being talked about…DSCF8320 DSCF8319 DSCF8321It’s an important ritual because it is one that we can not afford to miss, forget or otherwise omit…it is also a very satisfying one that daily builds the bonds between us…

Edit: Forgot to mention…this morning…as I was dishing out their breakfast on the deck, the littlest wax-eye fearlessly planted himself on the deck to watch the proceedings. Lulu, in the pink collar, is our hunter but was fascinated by this bright-coloured little thing that clearly was totally unawed by her 40+ kilogram mass, nor the fact that she could probably inhale him by accident…

I thought he might have been hurt but nope, just fearless…he let me pick him up in my hand as Lulu looked on; hopped onto the rail, had one last look, and then flittered off into the trees…

People wonder why we’re not that fussed about missing out on the ‘joys’ of urban life…

Daily Prompt: Luxurious | The Daily Post

What’s the one luxury you can’t live without? Photographers, artists, poets: show us LUXURY via Daily Prompt: Luxurious | The Daily Post.

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Well, it is hardly something that I can not live without as I have clearly done so for some time but it would be luxury to be able to just sit here on a warm but rainy day with a good book and watch the grass grow…

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I always seem to be so busy now between maintaining and developing the section, looking for work (this is always a good time for that – not!!), trying to get some writing done, and also fitting in just some plain old ‘me’ time…I think that I will have to start enforcing some me time to just keep the balance right and rocking gently back and forth here would be a good place to start…

The expedition…

When the girls arrived on Thursday afternoon, they announced that ‘we’ needed to visit the pond aka the stream at the bottom of our hill…I managed to fend this off til yesterday and as soon as Elisabeth was awake and dressed, she was ready to go…although consented to wait til after breakfast…

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Honey ‘toast’ not cooked…

Then we were committed to our expedition…with Elisabeth as lead scout…

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This way(?)

..and through the ‘jungle’ we went…

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…and saw some of those curly plants on the way…

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…finally…the stream…

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…then…

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..”Hey! Is that a duck?“…

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Rare New Zealand blue duck aka whio…

…”Sure is“…

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You dogs leave the duck alone!

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…stopped to climb a tree on the way home…

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Hey, that was fun, Poppa, let’s do a diff’rent ‘venture tomorrow…”

Austerity and writing | The Crayon Files

Austerity and writing | The Crayon Files.

How frugal is too frugal? It depends on your circumstances. About 10 years ago, I remember being horrified when a TV reporter advising people how to save money said that forgoing buying a coffee Monday to Friday would save $750 a year. I would, I reasoned, rather have my daily cappuccino than $750.

A decade on, however, I’m starting to see how much sense that makes, and now I buy only one hot drink a week (chai latte is my choice these days) or fewer.

I started out with a comment on Caron’s original post but it kept getting bigger and bigger and so I’ve split it out into a post in its own right…

I’ve been in the same position for the last four years and I note each year the irony that it is summer and Christmas and traditionally the season of extravagance and excess…

My first lesson is that you can save as much as you like but sooner or later there will be a point where you still need to be generating some income for life support, probably even if you go totally off the grid.

I learned early that actually measuring stuff instead of the ‘good enough’ or ‘she’ll be right’ philosophies saves heaps…we have two large dogs that consume a lot of dog food: simply by measuring their meals instead of guesstimating saw an average increase of 2-3 days per bag of food (while not upsetting canine morale). I read the breadmaker instructions and found that I did not actually need to use a tablespoon of treacle (which I don’t use in any other cooking) but could get away with a teaspoon of normal sugar without affecting the quality of my loaves. A little experimentation also found that I could reduce the yeast input from three to 2 1/2 teaspoons with no loss of of quality or reliability…


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Looking at the prices of wholemeal bread in the supermarket yesterday, there is a lot to be said for making own’s own bread. I’m not sure how long it would take to recoup the cost of a breadmaker (we got our first one through the Flybuys loyalty programme so it was essentially free – and the second from an estate sale at the bottom of the hill) but with 1.5kg of flour being less than $2 and being enough for 3-4 loaves, and considering the cost of a trip to town if we run out of bread, I think that we are ahead of the game making our own bread, and bread crumbs as a byproduct. Still on flour, here. it is usually cheaper per 100 grams to buy the 1.5 kg bags over the 5kg ones (go figure) and so we generally stock up when it is on special e.g. yesterday it was $1.79/1.5kg, and keep it in a large 20+ litre Tupperware container in the back pantry with a smaller ready-use container in the kitchen pantry.

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The big flour bin (which needs refilling)

Stock up on high use items during sales and discount offer – we do this with canned goods, especially canned tomatoes which we use in a range of recipes, and canned fruit. This is generally a good rule for anything non-perishable but perishables may need closer management. As Caron says in her post, avoid ‘lazy’ products like pre-sliced/grated cheese – premixed coffees, etc are another – if you can’t make a decent coffee/cocoa/tea on your own, learn!

You can do many interesting and flavourful things with a rice base as an alternative to potatoes…and you can use the rice as the filling ‘bulker’ while using less other ingredients for flavour. Something that I have learned this year is that you can reduce serving sizes by starting with a smaller serving and giving it 30 minutes or so before deciding that you are still hungry…

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A well-stocked pantry

You might not save much in fresh produce by having even a small vege garden in the backyard and it can be quite a bit of work (albeit usually quite satisfying). Where the savings come in is when you can save fresh produce for off-season months. Learn how to blanch fruit and vegetables for longer-term storage – we do have a dehydrator too but I don’t think that we have used it at all yet. Summer-grown pumpkin etc can provide yummy soup for a good part of winter; and herbs (parsley, basil, coriander, mint, etc) grown in summer and then dried can keep you going during the colder months; other herbs like rosemary while provide and then some year-round.

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If we can grow fruit here, you should be able to grow it most places and even a small apple tree can provide enough fruit for current consumption and freezing or drying for later use. Rnubard is another ‘fruit’ that will grow most places and year-round.

For both vegetables and fruit, check out farmers markets or nearby produce stalls as alternatives to supermarket fruit and vege – and I do mean, check them out: the much-maligned supermarket is not always the most expensive option.

Meat can be expensive so experiment with vegetarian meals and those which do not require as much meat as a ‘meat-led’ meal; I listed some examples of such meals that I like under my Masterchef Raurimu category…neither option means sacrificing taste or satisfaction.

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This sausage frittata makes four large servings but only uses six sausages and six eggs against the 8-12 for individual servings of sausages and eggs…

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Chickens can be a bit of a Catch-22: it costs about $25/month for chicken feed and that is less than the quantity of eggs we consume…but…we only consume that many eggs because they are there: if we had to rely on store-bought eggs our consumption would be much less…you also need both the space and amenable neighbours…

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Unless you are really really picky, like uber-super picky, use a Sodastream machine for carbonated mixers for drinks…austerity does not need to = abstinence from G&T, rum and coke, vodka and V etc…this will pay itself off in a year, especially if you already have a well-stocked drinks cupboard.

My parents bought me these ‘ecoballs’ as a ecologically-friendly alternative to laundry detergents. I’ve been using them for two years and they do the job as well as laundry powder although I still add Napisan to white loads (I still toss the ecoballs into assist the agitation).

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We have options for water heating here. For the first six years we were here, we relied exclusively on the laundry chippy for water heating and only switched the water heaters back on when our flat line fee got to the ridiculous point that using the water heaters did not actually affect our monthly power bill that much at all. Before the Lines Company took over the power infrastructure on the Central Plateau, our monthly power bill with the water heaters off was consistently around $80-90 – now just the line fee is $150 each month. The heaters are off at the moment because I can not afford to get them fixed til next year but the chippy is there when needed and on summer days there is always the trusty solar shower! Probably 50% of our wood comes from the property and we still have a quite a large stock of coal from when we were living in Waiouru and able do a bulk buy each winter…

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Review your phone services…will uncapped broadband being more and more a staple (and stable!) service, you may find that a flat fee to Skype will be a better option for all your non-local calling – and of course, Skype is free for conversations with other Skype users…

We used to have SKY subscription TV but as neither of us were into sport, the value of the investment worth off at about the same rate as the novelty of having access to so very many channels. There is probably a point with channel numbers where the law of diminishing returns kicks in and the greater the selection, the less the satisfaction. For the last four years, we have just had Freeview – and access to our own large DVD library which we expand largely by waiting for new releases to not be new any more and keeping a weather eye of bargain bins for ‘wish list’ titles. Yes, they are ALL legit titles!!

Depending where you live, plan trips into town. The round trip for us to either of the three closest life support centres (Taumarunui, Turangi and Ohakune) costs about $12 in diesel (more in petrol) and so there are definite economies of organisation here. Public transport may be a viable alternative to driving/parking where a practical and useful service is available.

Check appliance settings: when we first got our plasma TV our power bill increased noticeably; on investigation aka reading the manual, we found that it had been delivered with the brightness set to ‘showroom’ which was dramatically bright but not really necessary even in sunlight and which sucked A LOT more power. I’m not such a zealot that I go around religiously turning off all appliances at the wall to save the LED power consumption but if you are so inclined I would encourage you to consider a. whether the standby mode actually prevents condensation if you live in a cold area and b. whether the start up power consumption is actually more that what the LED would have consumed.

There are not too many places with free rubbish disposal but costs are often based on bulk so, after breaking out anything that can be recycled wherever you are, crush as much as possible of your non-recyclable rubbish. Try to recycle as much organic material as possible into, for here, dogs, chickens and garden…this includes much of our paper waste that which is not required for starting the fire in winter being used in our own mini-landfills as we fill holes in the landscape (a perk of rural living). We did look at making our own paper bricks from the fire but these require a lot of space and time to dry properly and I am not sure how well they would perform in modern burners…this will only become a real problem for us when we run out of holes in the ground to fill…

I will be hunkering down, weathering the lean times for another year and…hopefully, at the end of summer, I will have the first draft of my new novel done. That will be a major achievement, since I’ve been researching this topic in various ways for 20 years, and recently, finally, came up with what I think is the perfect formula for the book.

And so should I be…while cash is short, I should be focusing on those things that require less/no money and more muscle or mental input…I have so many stalled writing projects that this should be the perfect opportunity to at least advance them significantly…