Helpless

Helpless Helplessness: that dull, sick feeling of not being the one at the reins. When did you last feel like that –- and what did you do about it?

Animal friends

Helpless is when your best mate suddenly comes down sick and you can’t do a damn thing about it.

This is Kirk, my best mate, from when we first met until recently when he became a fan of the new Thunderbirds.Kirk likes Thunderbirds

Kirk and his sister had their annual vet check at the beginning of the month and the only slightly unusual thing was their weights were within a kilogram of each other – normally Lulu is mid-40s and Kirk is around mid-50s – this time they were a tad either side of 50kg.

I didn’t think too much of it at the time but a couple of days later, Kirky went right off his food and would only touch offerings with very string scents. Even when we had fish’n’chips – where normally polite Kirk would barge his way in – he showed little interest in either fish or chips…initially, I thought it might have been a reaction to his vaccinations: he’s always been a bit of a sookie…and after a week or so he seemed to perk up.

Then he slipped right back, showing no interest in food and, without any energy, would just sit, too tired to even come up the stairs or walk to the end of the short driveway…we went into the vet yesterday, Kirk and I. He was very brave and let the vet poke and prod him all over and take samples, although I don’t think he’s very impressed with the haircut they gave him so they could scan his tummy.

The prognosis isn’t too good for Kirk: it’s either the big C; another internal growth or rat poison…my best mate who’s been with me for eight and a half years…not much you can do really…just wait for the test results to come back…can’t even slip him a bit of steak because he won’t even look at it…helpless…

Update. Test results came back this afternoon and Option B is looking good at the moment: some form of internal growth that’s causing the internal bleeding that’s making him so weak and lethargic. The vet thinks he is too weak at the moment for any sort of operation to explore further so it’s a waiting game. They gave him some steroids  – which get ground up and mixed in with a teaspoon of Nutrigel – he’s so good well-mannered that he’ll let me, with only a little resistance, smear it inside his mouth so he can’t reject or eject it.

It’s too easy to take false hope from this but only an hour or so after the first dose of steroids, he wolfed down some wet dog food – still not keen or dry food – and is sitting in front for the tellie watching The Professionals with me. The steroids only conceal the symptoms though but the vet hopes this will let him build up enough strength for an operation to confirm what’s going on inside and determine if it’s operable.

So just a waiting game for now, not really anything extra we can do for my best mate…helpless…

Stupid?

Should I be concerned when WordPress tells me that people are using the search term ‘stupid‘ to find this blog? It is often quite interesting to see what terms that people are using that bring them here…

There is a steady trickle of searches for Interbella which is good as it shows that a few people out there are starting to get the message that we need a new way of thinking to truly grasp complexity and uncertainty.

There is a lot of interest in the UK’s training simulation JCOVE that I mentioned in Microcosms – I never did get around to reviewing this, or even playing it that much – I simply don’t have time at the moment between job-hunting, blogging and doing the work I do have. I am hard-pressed to consider spending too much recreational time in front of the PC. Hopefully I will get over this, possibly when the weather packs up for winter, and I do enjoy sims and have done since my first Sega system in 1988. Sims and training still have a long road to ride together.

At least one person has been feverishly beavering away looking for a paper model of the mighty TSR.2. I can help there as there are four that I know of: the first three are fairly simplistic and should be easy enough to find online. The fourth is a magnificent creation in 1/33 by Waltair at Kartonbau.de – unfortunately there seem to have been some issues with the design and he has put it back on to the back burner til maybe this year…

BAC-TSR2-der-Royal-Air-Force-133_8119

Note: Waltair’s TSR.2 released a year or so later…it’s a beauty!!!

Papermodeling.com is still down. It’s been four days now and I think that this is the longest that I have ever known a website to be down for technical reasons. Apparently the problem is that the back-up is very large (very graphics-heavy at a guess) and won’t upload properly. Best laid plans of mouse and men etc but I wonder what liability forum and blog hosts actually have when something like this happens. If this site can not be recovered, an incredible amount of knowledge (on a narrow topic) will be lost. We used to laugh when the Army went to an online personal records system in the early 90s and all the clerks had to maintain paper records of all transactions: there was actually more paper produced and stored than under the old paper-based system! Looking back, maybe they weren’t so dumb after all…?

I have done something to my back that kicks in whenever I sit at my desk in the study, especially in the evenings – any more than an hour or so at the keyboard and it becomes quite uncomfortable. The upside is that it goes away if I keep moving about so in the day I guess it is a good motivator to do some work outside…so today’s rehab has seen part of the vege garden dug up and replanted with beans, the goats and sheep set to work cleaning up the edge of the front lawns, and a start made on a Colditz fence so they can level all the crap that has grown at the top of the back garden without breaking out and obliterating the garden.

I have a few less options after dark but stretching out on a couch seems to help so I’m off to finish watching The Wild Geese, a favourite from wayback – should I feel old when I remember seeing this when it was first released in 1978…?

wild geese

Taking a break

Am on the road for a night or two – have gone up the road to stay with Carmen and have a look at a few properties around Kawhia (Kar-fee-a) way – in the interests of domestic harmony, online time is restricted to a minimum – normal services  should be restored tomorrow…

Every time a coconut

Last month, I mentioned Kirk’s fascination with The Dog Show – it was on again last night (yes, dogs up well past their bedtime) and the first time wasn’t just a fluke or coincidence…while they both turn their nose up at classics like The Dam Busters or B5, as you can see, this really grabs them….

And now I see with eye serene

While fossicking around in the library last night, I found an old notebook in which a much younger me had recorded quotes of note (to me anyway). I’m away the next couple of nights so I thought that I would schedule blog updates for my away days to keep things ticking over. So here goes…

And now I see with eye serene
The very pulse of the machine;
A being breathing thoughtful breath,
A traveller between life and death;
The reason firm, the temperate will,
Endurance, foresight, strength, and skill…
A perfect thing, nobly planned,
To warm, to comfort, and command;
And yet a Spirit still, and bright…

– William Wordsworth;  ‘She was a Phantom of delight‘, l.21^8  (published 1807)

On googling this today I found that the long-forgotten source from which I drew this quote has in fact shifted the focus from a woman to a machine; possibly this has been drawn from one of the Bolo series’ that illustrate how an artificial intelligence can become in time truly aware.

I was quite fascinated with this series when I first discovered it – I was only 9 or 10 when I got my first exposure to the Bolo story…I had invested my pocket money in the Tales of Time and Space anthology…and there it was, Keith Laumer’s The Last Command and the Mark 28 Bolo LNE (Lenny)…many years later, I discovered the Bolo anthologies and theme enduring theme that ethos and values are more important warrior attributes than flesh or metal.

Is this for real?

Stuff was my IE homepage for years but got too slow to load up over a dial-up connection so I don’t go there so often now. I wandered there this morning in search of some bit of trivia and couldn’t believe this story. Who cares if a primary teacher poses nude in a magazine?  Three points:

  1. Half the students in her class would be thinking about her anyway…
  2. It’s not like she was stripping in a local bar…
  3. If it’s good enough for Marge Simpson

That’s all for today. It has been a beautiful blue skies mountain day and I have busy working outside since breakfast:

  • the lawns are now all mown, including the Chalet, and I am eternally grateful to the guy who invented the ride-on mower: these are not small lawns.
  • all the bush and trees we cleared for the mancave are now either firewood or mulch – if you’re going to buy a mulcher, buy a grunty one.
  • I helped Carmen tidy the garage…and we will see how long that lasts…

Not sure what’s for dinner but it sure smells good…

Back to work tomorrow…

Feral the cat ran away…

…Feral the cat came back – not all stories have the desired ending…still, that will teach her to pick fights with big dogs who are just trying to be friendly…it also shows that cats, like children, come back much more docile after a couple of nights alone in the bush…

It was really nice to get home on Friday to find that Carmen had put the roof on the mancave and laid the foundation of the front deck…certainly saves me some work and puts us ahead of the game to get the damn thing finished – it’s a bit dark inside at the moment til we source some windows for the front but at least the rain isn’t getting in anymore and it has dried out quite nicely….

Mancave 001Later on I think we’ll extend the deck out a bit further but we need something now as it is a bit of a step up to the door at the moment…when it’s done and after a bit more judicious pruning, the view will be something like:

Mancave 003Obviously a little more groundwork required in the foreground but the plan is that this is where steps will go down to the next level – the hill down from the house is quite steep but has been terraced at some stage so it is possible to descend from level to level…If I cut down ALL the trees you could see the Raurimu Spiral at the left of the picture…

Have also been quite busy in the garden and we finally got a vege garden underway…the soil here is not very good to say the least being for the most part an unfriendly combination of clay and volcanic ash. There used to be mega-toitoi right up to the house and we have, over the years, pushed this right back and opened up the bush. One of the unexpected benefits of getting rid of the toitoi is that where it has been is actually good rich, well-drained soil. After a few hours hammering way with the rotary hoe, we flattened out the first of the toitoi humps and, on Saturday, got a range of veges into the ground. The plan is to extend a series of little vege patches down the path visible here:

Vege GardenIn other blog news tonight…

Cheeseburger has an account of the Sydney International Food Festival this past weekend…sounds like a great event and I too am dead keen to have a crack at the bacon jam…JB makes a point about the way that non-professional food bloggers were treated in exactly the same way as mainstream food media and I think that he is on to something: would you rather read  a review of an eatery by someone who has been paid to write it and whose palate might be somewhat picky, or reviews by normal people? I reckon I lean well towards the normalcy side of the fence. Years ago, around 2000, (yes, again, another missed opportunity to make something of myself!) I thought about posting eating reviews on a website somewhere but couldn’t find a suitable one and this whole blogging thing was then it’s infancy…I think I might kick this off again…Reading into JB’s comments about the quality of non-professional food blogger’s, I wonder if he also might have tapped into an insight for the future? Might it be that soon we will be more reliant on informal blogs (the ones we think best suit our own tastes and preferences) for information that we will be in the professional media. Could this be the start of the Information Militia…?

The Strategist has an item on the UK going back to someplace it is far more comfortable than the current war: back to the days of the Raj on either side of WW1…this has really got me thinking and I need to retire to the hammock to cogitate on it a while before commenting…stay tuned…