Always hating hanging around like a third wheel at open homes, so we  disappear on Sunday mornings…coffees and carrot cake at The Station Cafe today, then off to Taupo for a touch of Stress Induced Shopping Therapy (here on in referred to as SITS)…

Now that I’ve seen it, it’s a little ironic that this chapter of the Marvelverse is about not winning – not really a spoiler as I must be about the last person on the planet not to have seen Infinity War – being brought up on John Wayne and Thunderbirds, it’s always a little hard to accept that the good guys don’t always win…even in real life…

It’s actually quite tough, knowing that this battle is one that I’m probably not going to win. It’s not about being right. I’m pretty confident that I am right – just upgrading to my fourth lawyer and expecting his feedback tomorrow – that’s not arrogance or pollyannaism or bias…it’s the result of years of research, investigation and analysis work and having to present the results of that work to a fairly unforgiving audience…

It would be unpalatable to find the reverse smoking gun that proves me wrong but at least then I could suck it up and move on…but I can’t (find it, that is, not not move on…well, actually I can’t move on because I’m in the right but let’s not get wrapped around that)…the thing is that being right doesn’t always equal winning….

And it’s not really about winning or losing…that’s too black and white…I never wanted to know everything about counter-insurgency but on a dim dark Waiouru day (most Waiouru days and dim and dark) Gandalf aka Chris Parsons set me off on an unexpected journey into the world of COIN…and I still find daily parallels with that journey…

…that there is no real victory in COIN..not in the sense of VE or VJ days…successful COIN is about a return to normalcy…not the normalcy that some might seek to inflict (certainly not ANZ ‘normal’ last week where it expected me to sympathise with any loss it may incur…) but normalcy for me…little things like being able to come home  and not have to worry about whether I will have a home or not next month; to not have to spend hours and hours researching legal and banking documents; to be able to dedicate time to relationships and hobbies and stuff; even little things like perhaps getting a roomie; not having to worry about the dogs if this goes wobbly(er)…normal’s all most people want…

In fact, the dogs are my biggest worry…Louie will probably rehome easier enough to people with no cats, good fences and who need a walking carpet…Kala Littledog still has a lot of issues to work through…

Not winning will be a new experience, certainly on this scale…with less that a fortnight til the hammer drops (literally), I’m still fighting…no real choice now to ride it on in and see what happens…

It’s just so damn frustrating that ANZ simply won’t man up – can I say that if the key point of decision is a woman? – admit its error and move on into fixing it up. But then, bullies rarely acknowledge their mistakes and just try to bulldoze their way on through and hope they will get away with it…

…and that’s all you are, ANZ, a bully that screwed up and that lacks the moral fibre to front up…