Sherlock gets his rocks

As you might be able the deduce from the title, I am not a big fan of the UK series Sherlock...I don’t like it for many of the same reasons I’m not that fussed about the Robert Downey Jr take on Sherlock Holmes either. I especially dislike the superior manner in which it points out all the key clues in such an blatant instead of relying on simply writing a good enough script to illustrate Holmes’ deductive powers. I also also not that keen on Sherlock because the stories are not much more than poor adaptations of the classic Holmes’ stories dragged screaming into the 21sr Century. I much prefer Elementary as a contemporary Holmes tales because a. the stories are original and b. it has Lucy Liu in it.


So, anyway, last night was the first time that I’ve flown Emirates and I must say that the in-flight entertainment system is most excellent: over 300 movies to choose from and a decent size (the better part of 30cm) touchscreen to watch them on. International flights are usually I get to catch up on new release movies and I wasn’t disappointed with the selection last night. First up was Star Trek: Into Darkness which I did enjoy because I do quite like the ‘JJverse’ Star Trek although I was disappointed that the bottom line of the plot was a rehash of the Khan story, with attempts to liven it up by swapping some of the roles from the original Khan story. I don’t think that device worked that well but I’m reserving my final verdict until I see it on the big screen: I was pretty scathing on the first ‘JJverse’ story when I saw out on a small scree but now it’s firm favorite. I was expressed pleased to see Sherlock get his rocks though as he plays the same sort of supercilious superior character as he does in Sherlock. There wasn’t enough time for another full movie before the end of the trans-Tasman leg, so I caught the pilot episode of Elementary just to rub it in + I do really like it…


After a brief stopover in Melbourne, it was back in the air for dinner and into Ironman 3. Quite simply, too many Ironmans…Tony Stark is Ironman, Roadie is Ironman, Pepper is Ironman, even Ironman is bloody Ironman! Much as I enjoy the Marvel universe, this one had a very X-Men feel about it with more super-powered mutated adversaries who seem to come from nowhere; coupled with Tony Stark’s continuing angsting over the events in The Avengers, it started to get a little boring and didn’t really contribute a lot to development of the characters of the universe. I think this franchise really has to get back to a ‘one movie, one Ironman approach’ and some more credible adversaries…


I only got about 20 minutes into GI Joe: Retaliation before I needed a snooze. That not really a reflection on the movie and more a result of my body time being around 3AM. On watching the remainder some four to five hours later, I didn’t think that it was as good as The Rise of Cobra…way too much very passĂ© ‘fight by wire’ and not nearly enough of the cool GI Joe toys that were the backbone of the franchise. I’m also not a big fan of ‘famous actor, cameos and, to be really honest about it, the Bruce Willis character could have been played by anyone. Ditto for Channing Tatum’s character, Duke…what happens to him loses any shock value as the character has been so poorly developed. Perhaps we shouldn’t be too surprised as director, Jon m. Chu’s other claims to fame include inflicting Justin Bieber: Never Say Never on the world…


And thoughts of Justin Bieber bring us to the next movie in our journey, the 2013 version of The Lone Ranger. No, Bieber is not in this movie but his presence is about the only thing that could make it any worse! This is one of the worst movies that it has ever been my discomfort to sit through – and I did sit through the whole thing in the unrequited hope that it could only get better…this bloated aberration fails totally to offer even the slightest entertainment value and turns the legend and values of the Lone Ranger into a painful vehicle for Johnny Depp to meander around the screen for two and a half hours with a rotting bird on his head. Do your kids a flavour and get them ANY other version of The Legend to watch instead of this nonsense…even forcing them to watch Gigli to to the William Tell Overture would be a vast improvement…


I always liked the buddy action movies of the 80s and Walter Hill’s Bullet the the Head looked like a good easy to fill the last couple of hours as we approached the Gulf. I might have needed to find something even shorter as Emirates have so many pre-landing PA announcements that I wasn’t able to finish it before touching down – in all fairness, I was in an exit row so had to stow my screen early. Although I still have 7-8 minutes of the movie to go, I can already say that I did quite like this one. It remains true to its action buddy roots but has a very clever and well-executed twist in that Sylvester Stallone’s character is not a very good person at all and the strength of this character is only slightly eroded by the blandness and weak development of his cop ‘buddy’…I think this one is worth a look for this alone….

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